2005-07-17 - 2:25 a.m.
2005-07-17 - 2:25 a.m.
i'm so sick of everything.
seriously. i'm 25 years old. shouldn't i have figured out what the fuck i want to do with my life by now? when i was little, i always thought that 25 was so old, and by then, i'd have everything all mapped out.
and i certainly don't. the idea of getting married is laughable. the concept of having kids is outrageous. i could go on and on, but i'm lazy.
every day is the same routine. get up, say hi to the kitties and pet them for a bit, shower, eat, walk to the train. it's my only comfort in life, because it's my one constant. and it both comforts me and depresses me at the same time. even though funny/ridiculous/wtf shit happens to me occasionally, i still feel like my life is incredibly boring.
is it because i am lonely? depressed? boring? i'm not sure, and it bothers the fuck out of me that i can't figure it out.
i came half a step away from being run over by an ambulance a few weeks ago. and while i wish i could say something deep like it made me realize all that was important to me or some shit, honestly, i thought it was pretty funny. rip christopher, killed by an ambulance? i'd be okay with going out that way. i also got demolished by some fat old guy's car door about a week ago when i was riding my bike. other than the amazing bruise i have on my chest, it totally sucked. if i had died because of some fat old fuck's car door, i'd be pretty pissed.
it makes me sad that i don't feel like i have anything in common with anyone. sure, i have friends who have some of the same interests as i do. which is probably why i am friends with them.
and i certainly don't expect to meet anyone who is into ALL of the same things i am, that would be fucking creepy. but seriously, what the fuck. where am supposed to find a woman who likes booty bass and heavy metal?
i think the worst part about writing here is that i find myself annoying when i re-read it.