2002-09-13 - 1:15 a.m.
2002-09-13 - 1:15 a.m.
i haven't been feeling very well.
so i started cutting myself.
i ran out of room on my shoulders. i want to cut my arms, but it is still warm outside, and i won't be able to get away with wearing long sleeves. and i don't know how kindly work would take to multiple slashes down my forearms.
i am not sure, but i think i cut more than most people. from what i have read, usually a couple of cuts is sufficient for people who cut. i cut a lot more than that.
current running count on right shoulder: 37 cuts at least 2 inches a piece.
when there is noone else to hold me tight and make me feel warm, i can always turn to myself. i am not feeling poetic enough to make a literary connection between the warmth of a hug and the warmth of my blood. so just pretend i did.
i always have these strange flashbacks to dreams that i had years ago. they are all very vivid, and nothing in particular seems to trigger them.
food for thought i suppose.
whatever that is.
i am going to lie down.