2002-08-28 - 1:05 a.m.
2002-08-28 - 1:05 a.m.
i am going to cut myself tonight. i am going to make my arms scream with pain while i am completely silent. three slices, from the wrist down to my elbow. i will close my eyes and feel the blood drop off of my arms. it feels like a warm summer rain.
we didn't know each other very well, because we just met a few weeks earlier. you asked me to come play in the rain with you. we walked down to the field near your house, i had on brown cords and a green tshirt. it started to rain again and i splashed you with a puddle. i could feel the rain water dripping off of my arm.
that's how it feels. something about cutting myself makes me something in my veins. a sense of accomplishment.
which is ironic, because the only thing i am accomplishing is permantently disfiguring myself.
you only live once. or something.
i don't know if i feel like driving to the hospital to get stitches. i have to work in the morning. and i don't really want to deal with emergency room people.
and what about parking?
i doubt they will let me run outside and pump quarters into the meter.
oh well.
until next time.